“If you can't say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” “Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself” “If you weren't there to witness it, you really don’t know” these are things my mom would remind me when I was acting up as a kid, but when I was really rude, when I would say something totally judgemental and hurtful she would simply look at me and say “I sincerely hope you never have to be tested on that.” To which I of course scoffed, found her words super annoying and went on with my judgemental thoughts… until years later when I would be tested on the exact thing I had judged so harshly and would hear her words ringing in my ears as I went against everything I ever thought I would believe.
I think its time the rest of the world heard these words. We are getting pretty self righteous up here on our high horses. Super confident that our opinions are the only ones that are right and quick to shame anyone who has ever had any slightly different circumstances than our own. There are so many different verbal wars out there it's impossible to zero in on just one. Everybody has an opinion about everybody and nobody is doing it right. In light of the most recent events I am going to use two very recent examples and repeat, I sincerely hope, you never have to be tested on that.
Not too long ago at a zoo a little boy was separated from his mother and climbed into the gorilla cage. What exactly occurred between the moments that little boy got separated from his mom, and the moments he was retrieved from the gorilla's cage is under a lot of debate. I wasn't there, I dont know what happened, but here is what I do know. There are two zoos close to me, One of them is very enclosed and had I only ever been to that zoo I would think, “wow, this would be extremely hard for a child to climb into, how could that have happened” and another that I visited shortly after hearing about the little boy and the Gorilla, This enclosure had a deep trench that I am assuming would make it impossible for a gorilla to cross, however the wall separating zoo goers from climbing into the enclosure was pretty short, in fact I could say with a lot of confidence I could easily jump that fence which makes me certain that if I had a young boy with me and I turned around for even a second, he could easily hop in there.
I want to ask all you sanctimommies a question, Have you ever turned your back for even a second? Ever needed to grab the sunblock out of the bottom of the stroller? Ever had to grab a snack for one of the other children with you and for some crazy reason they weren't all standing in a single file line making them super easy to keep track of? Has there ever been even a single moment of opportunity where a child who has been raised right, yet has a mind of his own could have simply wandered out of your sight? Unfortunately children do not come installed with tracking devices, or those cool floating diamonds over their heads like in the sims that makes them easy to find when they are in the other room. And I think if we were really honest, every one of us could tell a story about a time where for 15 terrifying seconds we didn't know where our children were... guess what, if you have a story like that, and your name isn't on the news, you are lucky. You are not superior to the ones whose worst fear was recognized, and your parenting may be closer to their than you believe… you just got lucky because your child was hiding behind the jungle gym and theirs was in a gorilla cage.
Aside from the fact that all children at some point have wandered people are calling into questions the zoos decisions to shoot the gorilla. The zoo issued a statement saying how because of his size sedation could have taken upwards of 15 minutes… DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT IS? Do you realize how many things could happen in 15 MINUTES? I’m pretty sure most zoos are not in the business of raising animals just to shoot them in the head at their first opportunity. I am sure that gorilla was greatly mourned by more than just the 3rd party facebook do-gooders who are apparently all trained in animal related crisis prevention.
All I can say to those of you criticizing the decision to put the gorilla down in order to ensure the safety of that little boy…"I sincerely hope you never have to be tested on that” Because I know without a doubt that If my child was in a cage with a 700lb gorilla I would personally shoot it to ensure the safety of my child. Yes the child should not have been in there, but you don't leave a kid in the middle of the street just because you told him not to play in it so he needs to learn his own lesson. It's a street, The odds are pretty good a car is going to come. Instead of criticizing that which we've never dealt with, grieve the loss of an otherwise perfectly peaceful animal and praise the lord that a sweet innocent little boy got to go home to his bed that night. You weren't there, you don't know exactly what happened, and as much as you want to judge, it could have easily been your child. I bet if it was, you would feel a little differently.
Most recently an innocent little boy was playing by the water at a Disneyland Resort, and the most terrible accident that could have occurred, happened. This child wasn't alone, he didn't slip off unnoticed, he was TAKEN from his parent, by a crocodile! Even as I type them, those words do not feel real. His father tried to fight the crocodile to free his innocent son. However, regardless of what all you superhero facebookers believe about yourself, you cannot break free a crocodile's jaw with your bare hands. A quick google search will show you they have a bite force of 3700 lbs per square inch. Anyone here stronger than that? I’m not. Yet again, Instead of the world mourning the loss of this perfect little boy, people are criticizing the parents. Again things like “they should have been watching him” “that wouldn't have happened to my child.” and here is what I have to say about that “I sincerely hope you never have to be tested on that” These parents did not take their child to crocodile lagoon and say “have fun kid, we're gonna go hit the bar”... they took their baby to DisneyLand. And you know who is even more upset about this tragic accident than you are my little news reading friends?? THE PARENTS. The mom and dad who saw their tiny baby being carried away in the jaws of a crocodile and tried as they might could not stop it. The mom who fell to her knees screaming, knowing the fate of her child, and the dad who has to look at his hands for the rest of his life knowing they were powerless to save his child. What if, instead of criticizing them, we send them love, respect their privacy in this time, Pray for their comfort, and thank god that we are blessed enough to get to kiss our children as we tuck them into bed tonight.
Maybe the criticism comes from fear. Maybe we know how easily that child could have been our own and it scares the shit out of us. Or maybe we really are just that ignorant and self righteous. Either way, If you are one of those parents who look at these moms and dads in their weakest moments and say “you should have done better” then “I sincerely hope you never have to be tested on that.”
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